Up all night

So, it's seven in the morning. This is when I went to bed the night before. I slept from 7am to 3pm the night before, and from 3am to 6am this last night. It's driving me up the fucking wall! In addition to my chronic insomnia (and I think I have a slight phobia or at least aversion to the idea of bedtime), I have a rat that gets into my kitchen at night.

Now, I love all creatures, but I'm ready for this rat to die. I'm adding rats to my list. It's my list of creatures that may be killed on sight when in my personal space. Some of them, like in the case of ants, are killable simply because there are so damn many of them that it doesn't matter. Others, like mosquitos, deserve to die for simply existing. Now, I know about ecosystems and I don't want any kind of mosquito genocide. They can live all they want as long as it's in rainforests and jungles where I don't go. But if I can catch them, I kill them. So now the list includes:

mosquitos
ants
flies
rats

All other animals, I would prefer they be left alone to do their thing. There's no real reason to kill most creatures. Even spiders. I know a lot of people that think all spiders should die, but spiders like to eat two of the four creatures on my list, so in my book, that makes them okay. Spiders will die under special circumstances, however. If they are in my bed or on my person, they die. Any other location in the house, I try to just put them outside. The other animals on the list though... they are open game.

So please, next time you see a rat, kill it quickly and say "That's for aggravating Adam's chronic insomnia, bitch!"

Oh, and Jay, I think I told you my one Snoop Dogg joke, but just in case:

Q: What does Snoop Dogg use to get his whites so bright?
A: Blee-yatch!

... now I told you that so I could tell you another one:

Q: Why did Snoop Dogg need an umbrella?
A: For drizzle, yo!